Baranyai: Romance ageless in Hallmark Universe

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Made-for-TV romance seems to be having a moment. Long treated like the hayseed cousin of serious cinema, escapism blossomed with new legitimacy during the pandemic. Viewers in isolation embraced small-screen distractions en masse, from the weird spectacle of Tiger King to the heaving bodices of Bridgerton.

Here we are again, reaching for the Haagen-Dazs and desperate to change the channel.

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In times of trauma, what makes cookie-cutter romance so popular is the guarantee of a happy ending. Hallmark movie plots are crafted to be as predictable and comforting as chocolate chip cookie dough, straight from the bowl.

The Countdown to Christmas is particularly popular. Hallmark slow-rolls its seasonal releases with new titles every night of the weekend. For 10 years running, according to Neilsen’s fourth-quarter ratings, these Christmas releases have made Hallmark the top-rated entertainment cable network among women older than 18. It is an admittedly shrinking category, as cable viewers defect to streaming services, but No. 1 is still top of the dwindling pile.

Only recently, I learned there is an entire sub-culture dedicated to something called the Hallmark Cinematic Universe. Obviously, I am late to the party. Several threads on Reddit are interwoven with fan-fiction suggestions about how all the Christmas movies could be loosely connected in a parallel universe.

A cinematic universe is a tempting escape. While some franchises grow and change, such as the ever-expanding Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), Hallmark keeps it simple. The very traits typically scorned by critics – formulaic plots, unchallenging scripts and an interchangeable cast of B-listers – appear to be selling points within the HCU, embraced for their comforting familiarity.

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The MCU is collapsing under its own weight, held together by whatever flimsy connections would drop Thor into battle alongside Groot and the warriors of Wakanda. The HCU, by contrast, is held together by a few staple tropes. An independent woman, burned by romance, returns to her hometown to save the family home/lodge/Christmas tree farm, and is reluctantly charmed by a rugged but sensitive handyman/veterinarian/arborist. Alternatively, the leading Any-man is the new guy in town who trades his big-city ambitions for small town happiness after seeing the leading lady in a fancy dress.

Other squares on a Hallmark bingo card would include the mandatory meet-cute, a bake shop, a surprise inheritance, cutting a Christmas tree, an old flame, plans for a new business, a castle, amnesia (bonus square), advice from a benevolent elder, and a mean ol’ boss in the city.

Hallmark has distilled some of these tropes into a new self-promotional reality show, Finding Mr. Christmas. The reality-style competition has “10 unknown talents” vying for the opportunity to star in a Hallmark Christmas movie. Competitive elements featured in the trailer include ice skating while holding hands, running with Christmas trees, and posing in a Santa hat, holding a puppy.

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Hallmark’s leading men may be deliberately interchangeable, but audiences appear to be quite loyal to their leading ladies, including fan faves Lacey Chabert, 42, and Holly Robinson Peete, a dewy 60. The network has been in damage control after a lawsuit alleged a network VP had discussed replacing leading ladies who are “aging out.” Hallmark denied the allegations as “outrageous.”

The controversy dropped amid a wave of very successful films exploring relationships between older women (including Anne Hathaway, Julianne Moore and Nicole Kidman) and much younger men.

Chabert may not be one of the great dramatic actors of our time, but in a cinematic universe spun out of comfort and predictability, she’s a familiar face; if her face shows she’s getting older, that might be a comfort, too.

write.robin@baranyai.ca

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